Marriage Instruction

by
Father Basil Gummerman, O.F.M. Cap., 1947
printed with the permission of Pope Pius XII, January 2003

Instruction given by the priest for a Catholic man and woman planning marriage

Dear Friends,

The fondest desires of your hearts will be fulfilled soon. You are about to enter into the most intimate union of body and soul possible between man and woman. The love which has led you together will be sanctified, consecrated, made a picture of the love between Jesus Christ and the Church. God Himself will unite you in holy wedlock for the rest of your days. He does this through a holy Sacrament, one of the seven great means of grace instituted by the Divine Savior. When you administer to each other the holy Sacrament of Matrimony, that is, give and accept each other in marriage, before the priest, a fountain of grace springs forth at the throne of the Most Blessed Trinity to flow over your married life.

Matrimony is a Sacrament of the living. To receive it while one is conscious of being in mortal sin is a grievous sacrilege. The purer your souls are, the happier you will be on your great day. The confession before the wedding should be especially sincere and contrite.

Holy mother Church obliged me to give you at least a short instruction on the duties of the married state. I sum up these duties under the following headings: towards God, towards one another, towards the children God may give you, and towards your parents.

I. Duties towards God.

The words of Josue should be the motto of every home: As for me and my house we will serve the Lord. (24,15). The family which fears and loves God enjoys peace and happiness. Negligence in the service of God is at the bottom of married unhappiness. Unless the Lord build the house, they labor in vain that build it. (Ps. 126,1) Therefore:

 Pray: St. Augustine writes: He who knows how to pray right knows how to live right. Our Lord says, Ask, and it shall be given you. (Matt. 7,7). The daily prayers, devoutly performed, have a sanctifying influence on the whole day. The good intention of the morning prayers renders the lowliest labors meritorious, provided we are in the state of grace. By saying grace at meals we turn from our ordinary occupations to God, thank Him for His gifts and implore His blessing. In connection with night prayers an examination of conscience and an act of perfect contrition should be made. In olden times it was customary that husband and wife recited the daily prayers together. Jesus Christ says, Where two or three are gathered together for my sake, there I am in the midst of them. (Matt. 18,20)

Keep holy the Sabbath day. (Ex. 20,8). Never miss the obligatory Mass through your own fault. Without Sunday Mass there is no blessing on the week. Forbidden work on the Lord's day, unless it can be avoided, has never added to anyone's fortune in the long run.

Observe the laws of abstinence and fasting according to the interpretation of your bishop. By doing what the Church prescribes we have not only the merit of the good work, but also the merit of obedience.

 Receive the holy Sacraments frequently, at least once a month. Appoint your days and keep them if at all possible. Confession and Holy Communion lighten the cross which no one can escape.

It will greatly help you to live happily in the love and fear of God, if right from the beginning of married life you carry out the following recommendations:

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